The Day I Hit Dr. Ruth

I got up from my chair after the talk ended, reached to get my purse, and slung it over my shoulder. I instantly felt a thud.

I turned around to realize I had hit Dr. Ruth.

“Oh, my gracious, I am so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

She smiled with that delightful tinkle, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Of course you didn’t mean to hit me,” and she laughed.

I was flustered, and I also knew this was a moment I was unlikely to ever get again.

“Can I ever interview you about your career path?”

“Yes,” she said. “Please call Pierre Lehu,” and she rattled off his phone number incredibly fast and darted off.

The next day I nervously called Pierre, set up a time to meet Dr. Ruth, and booked a trip to New York.

I met her at her therapy office, we got in a cab (“Dr. Ruth,” exclaimed the driver, “got any advice today?”), and we went to a French restaurant for coffee. As we walked in, she spoke French with the maître d’ who clearly knew her from previous visits. In my mind, I wondered what French sounded like with a German accent or if she had learned it early in life so her accent was less pronounced.

We sat down, and I pinched myself… how lucky was I to have this opportunity.

I had read about her background, and yet I was most curious about her career, how she navigated it, and continued to stay relevant.

“I lived, so I must bring joy,” she said. This was a sentence she repeated several times. Her mother had put her on a train as a child to save her from all-but-certain death in the concentration camps.

Dr. Ruth lived, and indeed she did.

When I read about her passing on July 12th, I knew I wanted to write about this experience. I also was aware that I had no idea where my notes were from that memorable coffee. So, I’ll own that some of the details of her career may differ from what I’m reading now.

She was at a radio station for a meeting when someone said the late night host wasn’t going to be available for their show which was starting sooner than a replacement could be found.

“I’ll do it,” she said, and that night she answered questions about sex with candor and humor that became her trademark.

Throughout our time together, I repeatedly thought how she could be one angry person, justifiably so.

I thought this week about all the people in heaven lining up to greet her, including her mother who had put her on that train. Our loss is their gain.

So, I invite you to think about what you do to bring joy to others.

If you want to read more on Dr. Ruth, here are a few links that might interest you ...

• Why millions trusted Dr. Ruth for the most intimate advice
• Dr. Ruth’s Tips for a Happy Life
• Long After ‘Sexually Speaking,’ Dr. Ruth Taught Me About Friendship
• Ruth Westheimer, the Sex Guru Known as Dr. Ruth, Dies at 96
• Some of Dr. Ruth’s Most Memorable Moments
• Dr. Ruth Tackles The Tough Questions About Sex | Letterman
• Ruth Westheimer, Who Taught Generations to Talk About and Enjoy Sex, Dies at 96

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Diane Darling is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. See Diane in action and learn more about her topics here. McGraw-Hill published her books, The Networking Survival Guide and Networking for Career Success, now in 9 languages. She published, "She Said It: A collection of quotes by remarkable women."

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